Death to the Cow

Sermon Notes

• Though Israel had gotten out of Egypt, Egypt was still very much inside of Israel… There was a change in the geography, but there was not yet a change in the heart.
• This is a journey; this is movement. God doesn’t just zap you somewhere.
• There is a danger of leaving Egypt but, instead of walking into the Promised Land, making an Egyptian colony where you are.
• In the name of freedom, human beings are inclined to choose things that bring addiction and bondage.
• We are consumer Christians. We are focused on self even in worship!
• You become like whatever you worship.
• Do you know that feeling of irresistible adoration?
• When you see or hear something truly beautiful, it alters your perception of reality.
• Sanctification is the process of getting Egypt out of you.
• He changes our affections.
• You never seem to get any better by focusing on your sin.
• God doesn’t just call us out, but He calls us in.
• Prayer is not just some form of divine therapy.

You don’t want me; you’re just lonely

I’m really more angry than anything else. I know that I should be grateful, but I’m not. I’m irritated. I’m exasperated. I’m anxious. Why can’t I just be happy that He protected me from myself?

While I’ve made great progress in past couple of months, I still keep making the same mistakes. Granted, I am actually remorseful this time around, but how real can that remorse be if I keep doing it? And why do I still want to do the same old things even knowing the dangers? It doesn’t make sense.

I repeatedly put myself in dangerous situations, and God has protected me countless times, but how much longer can I expect to live this way without dire consequences? Am I just determined to learn things the hard way? Teddy asked me this last night, and I think he really hit the nail on the head. But why? Why am I so persistent in doing things I know will only harm me?

I say I want to change, and I say I want to live in a way that pleases Christ. Well, why don’t I? What is wrong with me? I see God working in my life, and as much as I’m excited about that, I still don’t act like it. I have so much to be thankful for, but you can’t see that gratitude acted upon in any area of my day-to-day living.

Where do I go from here?

A sad realization

I’ve become that girl who is so desperate for the approval of a man that she breaks her own spirit to do so.

Law and Lawlessness

Sermon Notes*

• The Law is what separates them from other people.
• God does not want His name to be misrepresented.
• Prayer is rest.
• Sometimes we feel like we need to take a vacation from God, but that is unhealthy.
• The way we relate to God is married to the way we relate to our family.

*I have seemingly skipped two sermons, but I was present at Renovatus for both of them and took notes there. If you would like to see my written notes, let me know.

A little about me

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Physical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Words of Affirmation.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:		11
Words of Affirmation:		9
Quality Time:		6
Acts of Service:		3
Receiving Gifts:		1

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don’t understand our partner’s requirements, or even our own. We all have a “love tank” that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

For honesty’s sake

I ended my boycott today. I had no intention of “breaking” it, but… well… Rather than sit here and feel sorry for myself (while simultaneously making everyone else feel awkward), I’m just going to get this over with: I slept with Jacob today. Not pleasant. Not sure why I did it. Very angry with myself. The end.

From my life to yours

 THE WHYS: Why am I getting a Bible degree? Why do I spend so much time reading commentaries and other scholarly books about the Bible? Why am I pursuing theology?

THE GUESSES: Am I studying to avoid practicing? Am I trying to being a spiritual know-it-all? Am I trying to avoid questions by knowing answers?

THE CHALLENGES: Practice what you preach (Romans 14:22-23; Colossians 2:6-7). Don’t judge or be condescending (Romans 14:1-21). Embrace the mystery of God (Job 11:7; Ecclesiastes 11:5).

Hope Rises

Sermon Notes

• The Gospel, “Good News”, is not good news until you’ve heard the bad news.
• The darker it gets, the more penetrating the light is.
• Human beings, no matter how good it gets, have this instinctive thing inside of them (us) to wreck it all.
• Whenever God intervenes in our lives…this is initially where it starts–with the word “go”.
• God does not choose people for privilege; He chooses them for service.
• I need You to change my name.

There is more to living than being alive

I feel like I have been broken into a million little pieces, and I’m not sure how to put them back together.

I know that people may read this and think that I’m revealing too much, but I feel that this is something I need to do. I really believe that forcing my sins out into the open will help to set me free. I decided yesterday to go on a P.M.S. (Porn, Masturbation, Sex) Boycott. Let me just say that I know just boycotting them won’t necessarily solve the problem, but it is a step in the right direction. For me, sometimes just setting a goal and crossing off the days that I’ve succeeded really helps and encourages me. I know that God doesn’t intend for me to stay enslaved to this. And it really is slavery! I am so tired of going back to drink muddy water and returning feeling dirty. I am a slave to my sin and guilt. I want freedom.

You’re suffocating me, so very hard to breathe. My mask is growing heavy, but I have forgotten who’s beneath. You’re sick as all the secrets that you deny. Sins, like skeletons, are so very hard to hide.          –Anberlin

Revisiting the sermon addressed to the choir

I talked with Dr. Sloop about Stott’s belief about the identity of “I” in Romans 7. Sloop disagrees with the view that “I” is pre-Pentecost Jews, but he agreed with the application. The only reason I felt it was important to note this is just so that no one assumes I think I know the “right” answer. There are different opinions, but I think most people can agree with Stott’s application: We need to be careful not to rely on the law but on the Spirit inside of us. So, yes. Please don’t think everything I say is the “final word” on the subject. I am very likely to get it wrong.