It’s called preaching to the choir

I was reading my commentary on Romans for class, and today I came to the section on Romans 7. Most of you know the passage I’m talking about–the one in which Paul expresses his anguish over doing what he knows is wrong and not doing what he knows is right. A lot of us use this as way to pat ourselves on the back, saying, “See, even Paul struggled like I do. He kept repeating the same sins over and over again too.”

What a lot of people don’t know is that there is a serious debate over the “I” in Romans 7. Is Paul referring to himself? Is he talking about an unsaved person? Is he talking about a born again believer? John R. W. Stott (the author of the commentary I’m reading) believes that “this is the conflict of a regenerate person who knows, loves, chooses and longs for God’s law, but finds that by himself he cannot do it. … He wants to obey [the law]. And when he sins, it is against his reason, his desire, his consent. But the law cannot help him. Only the power of the indwelling Spirit could change things…”

Rather than making this too long for easy reading, let me just sum up: Stott believes that Paul is referring to a group he calls “Old Testament Christians.” They were Jews who had been saved, but they had not experienced the indwelling of the Holy Spirit (pre-Pentecost) and were therefore still relying on the law to save them. The question is: is there any application for us today as post-Pentecost believers? Can we really justify using this passage as a way to assure ourselves that a lifestyle of sin after conversion is normal?

“We need then to keep a watch on ourselves and others, lest we should ever slip back from the new order into the old, from a person to a system, from freedom to slavery, from the indwelling Spirit to an external code, from Christ to the law. God’s purpose is not that we should be Old Testament Christians, regenerate indeed, but living in slavery to the law and in bondage to indwelling sin. It is rather that we should be New Testament Christians who, having died and risen with Christ, are living in the freedom of the indwelling Spirit.”

Basically… HELL NO!

Dying to live (continued)

I’ve given a lot of thought to the quote I began my last entry with. I think it’s amazing that each moment is basically a “second” chance. There is no excuse for continuing to feel sorry for ourselves–wallowing in our failures without hope–because there is hope! We are repeatedly offered the opportunity to begin again. Though Vanilla Sky does not say from whence this opportunity comes, we know it to be our Father. His Son’s precious blood covered “the sins we were doomed to keep repeating (Colossians 1:14).” You and I have the wonderful gift of being able to start over!

When I decided on the title for the last entry, I chose “dying to live” because it was the desire of my heart. I longed to live again–really live. When I came back to this today, I realized the other implication of this title: I die so that I might live. What I mean by this is that I die to my old wreck of a life so that I might start afresh, living the vibrant live Christ has planned for me.

We can never get to a place where it is impossible to start again–God’s grace is relentless. I firmly believe that, no matter what we’ve done, we can always repent and accept the gift of grace that our Father offers us: a “second” chance. The question is, will you accept it?

Dying to live

Every passing minute is a chance to turn it all around.     –from Vanilla Sky

I wish I had more to say. I really don’t. I opened this with the best of intentions. I had thoughts all bottled up, waiting to be expressed. But maybe I’m not ready for that. Maybe I need to cry just a little while longer. Pain isn’t the only thing that hurts. So does truth. And beauty. Especially beauty.

Paradise Lost

Sermon Notes

• Genesis is a fairy tale gone wrong.
• We are deceived into thinking that we can take what we want without any consequences (each of us think we are the exception).
• Yada is not knowing in a detached way–it is experiential, relational.
• Non-yada knowledge will eventually destroy you.
• When God asks questions, He’s not trying to get information.
• There is a human drive toward self-destruction.
• Even in the moment of His betrayal and anger, He has not given up on His creation.

Being Human

Sermon Notes

• Our starting point should always be the knowledge that we are created in the image of God.
• The breath of God is what makes us truly human and gives us our primal need for God.
• There is a hunger inside every person to know and be known by God whether they know it or not.
• Prayer was never intended to be a chore. It is our “mother tongue”.
• Living for God’s glory is… a life of mutual delight.
• Sin did not change God’s intention for humanity.
• “Spiritual CPR”
• We were created for community.*
• How can you be connected to the head (Jesus) without being connected to the body (the Church)?
• There is a spiritual nudity that needs to be aspired to.

*This reality has been stressed to me a lot lately, especially today. With everything that has been going on in my life, I have been at the mercy of others time and time again. Today Dr. Sloop requested that everyone in class would pray for me. Afterwards, one of my classmates informed me that he was going to ask his church to help me out financially. I stumbled over my words, and I had to backtrack from an insistence that I would be fine without his help. I admitted that I was having a hard time accepting assistance from people, and I assured him that I really was grateful. I have been humbled and, quite frankly, in awe of the love and support I have been given. It really is true that God created us to be in communion with others. It is hard to let go of that sense of pride that tells you to deal with your problems on your own, but let me tell you: God wants to break you (and certainly me) of that! God reaches out to us through the caring hands of a community of believers. Accept that gift with humility and gratitude. It really is a beautiful thing.

Chaos and Creation

Sermon Notes

• Genesis is not about how God created the world but why.
• Let’s not address the text; let’s let the text address us.
• Scripture is not just about finding answers but instead providing us with a harder/better set of questions.
• Christians cannot ”dichotomize” between the spiritual and the physical.
• This is God’s creation–and they wallow around in that.*
• If Jesus is not Lord over all, He is not Lord at all.
• When we admire God’s creation…and worship Him for it, it’s Jesus that we’re worshipping.
• The sea was a symbol of evil/chaos. —> Revelation 21:1 (…and there is no longer any sea.)
• Jesus comes out strolling on the water, and what he is demonstrating is that He is in charge. (Matthew 14:22-33)
• When the creation is in constant communication with its Creator, what is there left to be afraid of?

*The thing that really struck me about this statement is the use of the word “wallow”. When I hear it, I tend to think of wallowing in my own misery/self-pity. Be honest–isn’t this the context in which we usually hear the word “wallow”? Well, after hearing Pastor Jonathan’s use of the word, I looked it up in the dictionary. And, sure enough, “to indulge oneself immoderately” is one of the definitions listed. But what about this alternate definition: “to devote oneself entirely; to take unrestrained pleasure”? I know this may sound really nerdy of me, but I love that phrase! Think about it–creation takes unrestrained pleasure in the fact that it is the handiwork of God. How awesome!

Who knows if P.J. took such careful consideration in choosing his vocabulary, but what an amazing job he did regardless! I long to wallow in the fact that I was created by God Almighty. And even though Valentine’s Day is usually reserved for other kinds of wallowing, I think this is far more appropriate. If it weren’t for my Creator, I wouldn’t even know what love is.

Take our hands out of control

God really must be up to something. Not only do I not have a car, license, job, or boyfriend, I now no longer have a place to live. My mom is giving me until April 8 to move out. She said that if I don’t find a place before then I will still have to move out. My dad will not let me live with him either. I’m really at a loss for what to do. My friends keep telling me to pray about it, but I don’t really want to. I know that sounds unspiritual–not to mention appalling–but I’d just rather have everyone else doing my praying for me. Don’t get me wrong–I’m not mad at God for my situation. It’s not like I’m giving Him the silent treatment. I really don’t know why I don’t want to pray.

My friend Lindsey and I prayed together the other day about the whole situation, and it just felt so forced. You know the moment when the other person has stopped praying and they’re waiting for you to start? Well, I hate that moment. I was so awkward and frustrated that I was having to pretend to be spiritual. I know the whole “God doesn’t care about that/He just wants you to be real with Him” speech, but it honestly felt fake–not real at all.

Just a cursory glance at my situation would suggest that God is taking away everything in an  attempt to get me to fully rely on Him. But how can I rely on Him if I don’t even want to talk to Him? I sincerely want Him to do whatever it takes to mold me into the person He wants me to be, but I don’t feel like asking for His help to get through the process. I’d rather keep my head down and plow through, just waiting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Does anybody know of a solution for this? And by “this” I mean not only my spiritual plight but also my housing/transportation/job situation. Help.

Arms around each other; hold me close at night

I haven’t fully developed my thoughts on this, but I thought I’d just post it for now and see what you guys think.

He doesn’t love us ’cause of who we are…

…He only loves us ’cause of who He is.

I hate to admit my love of old school contemporary (please tell me you think that’s funny) music, but I have recently unearthed my collection of Newsboys’ CDs. Remember Love, Liberty, Disco? Yep. It may not have been my favorite, but it had one especially amazing song: “I Surrender All.” I know that most of your are probably shaking your heads and muttering that I’ve lost all my indie cred, but I guess I’ll just have to deal with that. Despite my desire to be one of those aloof, music Nazis, I think it’s much more important that I am able to hear God speaking to me even in “lesser” forms of music.

I tend to play this song on my iPod only when I’m trying to provoke an emotional and spiritual moment. Basically, I know that I suck as a Christian, but I’m trying to inspire a teary-eyed remorse that I’m sure will convince God I’m sorry. However, last night one line really grabbed me. I surrender all to the promises You made. It was especially eye… um… ear-catching (?) because I came across the same idea in the Romans commentary I’m reading for class. The author makes the point that the reason we are able to have faith is not because we are faith-full but because the One in whom we have faith is faithful. Maybe that’s confusing–let me explain… Abraham had faith not because that was a part of his character but because God is able to be trusted (it is in His character to be so). The only reason I can trust God is because I know He is trustworthy.

As for the song, I can apply this in my times of sacrifice, just as Abraham did. He left his home to go to a strange land–all because God had called him to. Why was he able to do this? I mean, didn’t Abraham realize that he was leaving his family and all that he was familiar with behind? Yes! But he also knew the promises that God had made to him. And because God was faithful, he knew that those promises would be fulfilled. With this is mind, Abraham was able to surrender to God’s call. How could I not do the same? God is just as faithful today and He was then. I have no reason to fear.

Closing in

We sat ouside in the freezing cold, but you held me close… and I was warm. Sometimes we spoke, and sometimes we refrained. There was no need for anything but each other’s company. And in those moments, my heart fused with yours. Now I’m in the most danger I’ve ever been in. I’m just waiting for you to call, waiting for you to look my way again.

It’s risky business putting your heart on the line.